07 February 2014


What are you avoiding feeling or doing by staying in your comfort zone?


I once had a conversation with a man I met on a train about staying in one’s comfort zone. The man started the conversation on this topic by saying that he was not the kind of person who enjoyed staying in his comfort zone. He understood staying in one’s comfort zone as meaning somebody who hasn’t really travelled or hasn’t lived outside of their birth city or country, or simply somebody who is not really active. He himself had travelled extensively (travel was also part of his work) and he was leading a really busy life. 

I had to point out at this time that keeping busy and constantly being in different environments did not mean that he wasn’t in his comfort zone.

 Being in one’s comfort zone actually means to keep doing things as we’ve always done them. It doesn’t really matter what it is that we do or whether this type of behavior is actually good or bad for our mental, emotional, physical or spiritual well-being. It is just what we are used to doing, and most of the time it comes with a story attached to it to validate it and give it a reason to be and continue to exist.


For example, we could be staying in an unhealthy relationship because we are used to it (our comfort zone) even though it might be really painful to stay in it and we know very well that it is not good for us. However, it somehow may be easier to stay with what we know rather than to confront ourselves with why it is that we are allowing ourselves to be in that relationship in the first place and to explore which stories we are telling ourselves in order to avoid confronting the unhealthy patterns and behaviors, rebalancing things or simply putting an end to it if there is no way to change this relationship into a more healthy interaction.

Another example might be working hard and travelling a lot, like the man I met on the train. Working hard and travelling can both be great activities. One brings in money and the other enables us to discover new environments, people and cultures. However, this type of behavior could also hide a need to keep busy in order not to feel certain emotions or to avoid facing oneself with certain responsibilities and commitments.  


What about you? What are you doing that is keeping you in your comfort zone? Why do you keep doing it? Which stories are you using to convince yourself to continue with that behavior? What would happen if you stopped that behavior? How would you feel? What would it change about who you are and how you define yourself? Which actions would you take?


With much love and light,




Noëlie works with clients worldwide in French, English and Spanish. She specializes in helping her clients go beyond their fears, blocks and limitations in order to create a life that is fulfilling to them. She uses various tools including mind-body techniques, meditations, visualizations, coaching and self-development tools. She is also an intuitive & spiritual healer and EFT practitioner. She uses her understanding of energy healing and dynamics in order to go deeper with her clients and track the energy root cause of problems. Read more about Noëlie